9.24.2009

Appreciative

I have been reading some peoples blogs lately that are all about their personal struggles. One of them is written by a widow who's husband killed himself while she was pregnant with their first child. http://onenoteshort.com/ The confusion and hurt she feels is at war with the happiness and love she feels for her child.

Her blog led me to http://www.januaryfirst.org/www.januaryfirst.org/Blog/Blog.html
This blog is written by a father who's daughter was diaganosed with schizophrenia at the tender age of 6. It records his struggles with a daughter who is severly mentally ill, insurance companies, and the state of California.

I am avid follower of Matt and Madeline who's story made me seriously cry when I first started reading about it over a year ago http://www.mattlogelin.com/ Matt was turned into a single father and widow the day after his daughter Madeline was born prematurely. He has made me cry, laugh, and be totally inspired by his story.

Matt has a friend who's blog I also follow http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/ I can't even begin to imagine what life is like for the Spohrs after losing their daughter Maddie. This one usually just makes me tear up.

I am not sure why I am drawn to these blogs which are for the most part pretty sad and depressing. Part of it is probably morbid curiosity as to what these people who have suffered so many losses are feeling. Maybe they give me some hope that even when bad things do happen life goes on, it may hurt but we can pick up the pieces and keep going. But I think the biggest reason is that it makes me really APPRECIATE all the the good things in my life that I tend to take for granted on a day by day basis. My kids, our health, my signifigant other, my friends, my family, that I have a job and a home. That I can provide food and clothes and toys and things for my family. It makes me realize that my life is not perfect but it could be a hell of a lot worse.

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